Forever & Always by Jasinda Wilder
These letters are often all that get me through week to week. Even if it’s just random stuff, nothing important, they’re important to me. Gramps is great, and I love working on the ranch. But…I’m lonely. I feel disconnected, like I’m no one, like I don’t belong anywhere. Like I’m just here until something else happens. I don’t even know what I want with my future. But your letters, they make me feel connected to something, to someone. I had a crush on you, when we first met. I thought you were beautiful. So beautiful. It was hard to think of anything else. Then camp ended and we never got together, and now all I have of you is these letters. S**t. I just told you I have a crush on you. HAD. Had a crush. Not sure what is anymore. A letter-crush? A literary love? That’s stupid. Sorry. I just have this rule with myself that I never throw away what I write and I always send it, so hopefully this doesn’t weird you out too much. I had a dream about you too. Same kind of thing. Us, in the darkness, together. Just us. And it was like you said, a memory turned into a dream, but a memory of something that’s never happened, but in the dream it felt so real, and it was more, I don’t even know, more RIGHT than anything I’ve ever felt, in life or in dreams. I wonder what it means that we both had the same dream about each other. Maybe nothing, maybe everything. You tell me.
~ ~ ~ ~
We’re pen pals. Maybe that’s all we’ll ever be. I don’t know. If we met IRL (in real life, in case you’re not familiar with the term) what would happen? And just FYI, the term you used, a literary love? It was beautiful. So beautiful. That term means something, between us now. We are literary loves. Lovers? I do love you, in some strange way. Knowing about you, in these letters, knowing your hurt and your joys, it means something so important to me, that I just can’t describe. I need your art, and your letters, and your literary love. If we never have anything else between us, I need this. I do. Maybe this letter will only complicate things, but like you I have a rule that I never erase or throw away what I’ve written and I always send it, no matter what I write in the letter.
Your literary love,
Because I could never watch my brother have sex…wait, what?….
With much, much thought and contemplation. I have decided that I can't rate this book. Nope, not until I've read the entire series. And see...I can do that, because it's my review. I asked myself permission, and I said YES!!!
I base this decision on the fact that this entire series reads like one fluent book; a book broken down into parts. One story bleeds right into the next. How can I fairly judge what I don't know? And right now...I just don't know.
So what do I know?
I know that this series is refreshingly unique. I've read several reviews where readers are challenging the "realism" of Cade and Ever's pen pal relationship. Readers are crying foul!
"They would have Skyped."
"They would have called, texted, or sent Nev over there with a small MTV camera crew."
I know that with a plethora of instant communication at our fingertips, pen pals seem unlikely, but I kind of assumed that was the point. First off, this is fiction. Sometimes creating a unique fictitious world requires an author to step a toe (or two) out of bounds. Second, I don't feel like they couldn't text, call, or Skype. I think they chose not to. They both were living in such a messed up reality that their only escape was between those pages. Their relationship existed on those pages. Those pages allowed them to open up in a way I don't think would have worked any other way.
I guess where I'm a little torn with my rating is that I wasn't as emotionally invested in this story as so many other readers seem to be. Don't get me wrong, this tale is heartbreaking, but almost too much happened. I think with so much going on, my emotions were spread so thin it caused an inability to experience any emotion too deeply. I also had some difficulty with the pacing. A little slow in the beginning, and then too much sex in the end.
Did she say too much sex? Is there such a thing?
Don't get me wrong, it was hot, and I understand needing to make up for lost time, but I found myself skimming through these scenes trying to progress in the story. Plus it didn't help that my brother's name is, you guessed it, Cade.
"F**k me Cade, fuck me harder!!"
MY EYES! Oh my eyes! Every thrust. Every cry of ecstasy. The hardness!!! NOOOOOOO! Now, I'm the sicko that kept picturing her brother having sex so it's not the authors fault, but all names aside, I would have liked a little less sex in the end. More story.
However, I will definitely be reaching for the sequel (pending a few hours of therapy).
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After Forever (The Ever Trilogy #2) Available NOW!